Zjabi

I have been watching a fair amount of movies lately, most on VCD (cheap DVD) and they are all very funny, even the serious ones. Not always because of the movie itself but because of the things that happen to them here in Indonesia. A pirated VCD has normally been recorded secretly in the cinema so you get all the coughing, the sounds of people eating popcorn or crisps and people walking in front of the camera because they want to go to the toilets, for free. An original legal VCD does not have all this animation but does give similar pleasure in the subtitles as the pirated versions. I believe that English movies in Indonesia are translated by a first year student of English or maybe even someone who is has just applied to study English. The rules are the following: Translate as much as you can, translate all names phonetically, and whatever you do not understand, you either guess or don't translate it at all. The result of these practices: actors have a different name in every scene which results in schizophrenic actors in almost all movies. Sentences that are not clear to the translator are just not translated and sometimes you see a 5-minute conversation translated into three Indonesian sentences. Other unknown words are just guessed at. so it is possible that they write Bobo instead of Volvo or Black Nible instead of Black Label.There is also censorship, depending on the film. It is possible that they start cutting when two pairs of lips might possibly have the intention to end up in a kiss. It depends on the television channel, if movies are or are not cut, some cut a little, and some cut a lot. Even though movies on VCD are normally not censured, it is always a surprise what they will and will not show you. If in the cinema during a movie, you see a kissing couple with all the buttons still closed . . . you hear the people around you shifting left and right on their chair, coughing and even giggling. Last week, I bought a VCD of an English concert with various artists performing, called Wicked Woman. On this VCD, Robbie Williams sings ‘‘Let me entertain you’’ and I enclose part of the subtitles as given on the VCD and the correct lyrics of the song. No more comment necessary . . .

Robbie Williams - Let me entertain you

Indonesian interpretation
Original lyrics

For hells is gonna happen here
Hell is gone and heaven's here

But nothing worth for you to fear
There's nothing left for you to fear

Shake your ass common’’ here
Shake your ass come over here

and I scream
Now scream

Well I’’m burning up all the chill
I'm a burning effigy

I’’m everything than I used to be
Of everything I used to be

You’’re my rockin’’bon a petit, my dear
You're my rock of empathy, my dear

Let me entertain you
So come on let me entertain you

etc etc